Charleslee
01-29-2020, 06:27 AM
Morris' wife Rachel came home early and found Morris in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Rachel was upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a Get (Jewish divorce) right away!"
Morris replied, "Hang on just a minute Rachel so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed,"but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And Morris began -- "Vell, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she vas very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
"She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the potato latkes I made for you last night, the food you vouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on veight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
"Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer outfit that I gave you a few years ago, but won't wear, because you say it’s too tight. I also gave her the sexy underwear that vas your anniversary present, which you don't wear because you said I have lousy taste.
"I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Chanukah that you don't wear, just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has the same pair."
Morris took a quick breath and continued - "She vas so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, mister, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
Morris replied, "Hang on just a minute Rachel so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed,"but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And Morris began -- "Vell, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she vas very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
"She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the potato latkes I made for you last night, the food you vouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on veight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
"Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer outfit that I gave you a few years ago, but won't wear, because you say it’s too tight. I also gave her the sexy underwear that vas your anniversary present, which you don't wear because you said I have lousy taste.
"I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Chanukah that you don't wear, just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has the same pair."
Morris took a quick breath and continued - "She vas so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, mister, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"