whitefang
01-30-2017, 12:11 PM
California
>
>
> * The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature
> trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the
> Governor.
>
> * The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
> and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is
> natural.
>
> * He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills
> the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
>
> * He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
> State $200 testing it for diseases.
>
> * The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
> diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
>
> * The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
> conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous
> animals.
>
> * The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
> awareness program" for residents of the area.
>
> * The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
> rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
>
> * The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The
> state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional
> special training concerning the nature of coyotes.
>
> * PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
> against the state.
>
>
> TEXAS
>
> * The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
> coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
>
> * The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps
> jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
>
> * The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
>
>
>
> And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
>
>
> * The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature
> trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the
> Governor.
>
> * The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
> and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is
> natural.
>
> * He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills
> the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
>
> * He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
> State $200 testing it for diseases.
>
> * The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
> diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
>
> * The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
> conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous
> animals.
>
> * The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
> awareness program" for residents of the area.
>
> * The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
> rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
>
> * The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The
> state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional
> special training concerning the nature of coyotes.
>
> * PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
> against the state.
>
>
> TEXAS
>
> * The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
> coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
>
> * The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps
> jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
>
> * The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
>
>
>
> And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.