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View Full Version : Move to Chicago



Charleslee
08-22-2013, 03:23 PM
Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: hitbypoorpollack@aol.com
Date: August 22, 2013, 12:59:13 EDT
To: a1013mem@yahoo.com, angelo.ilardi@gmail.com, semperfincpd@aol.com, Bill427B@aol.com, bmamirita@aol.com, RICHARD@COMPOZAPUZZLE.COM, dburke@weichertshoreline.com, dcole12805@yahoo.com, fiveo77@aol.com, Swords46@aol.com, ivoryrepair@yahoo.com, jc1073@hvc.rr.com, jedelmann@tampabay.rr.com, mtullgren@ne.rr.com, OMAL1@VERIZON.NET, PAPA5347@MSN.COM, ronnietuna@aol.com, SUNBURST3102@YAHOO.COM, SPANKSTER1875@YAHOO.COM, 2RONNIES@TELUS.NET, ziggins@comcast.net, commishna@mindspring.com
Subject: The Jewish Quarterback


Subject: The Jewish Quarterback




THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The
only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all
the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find
a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West
Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th
story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect
Arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the
coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his
Mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says." You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won
the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my
adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to
keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady
pauses, and then tearfully says,...


"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

Charleslee
08-22-2013, 03:38 PM
A father shark was swimming w/ his little son & decided to teach him a lesson when they saw a cruise ship sinking w/ passengers in the water. The father tells his son that they'll swim around the boat in a wide circle w/ just their dorsal fins out of the water & they do it. Then the dad says they'll circle w/ all their fins showing & they do it. The young shark asks his dad what was that supposed to do? The dad replies that once the people are so scared they shit themselves, they'll taste better!

Sent from my iPhone

Shovelhead
08-23-2013, 05:50 PM
LMAO.. Your not right man ... lol

mickeydo
09-03-2013, 06:37 PM
Baby seal walks into a club ..........

Twizzler
09-04-2013, 09:34 PM
Those were pretty good. :D