Charleslee
01-08-2013, 03:51 PM
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.
"I juggle them in my act."
"Oh, yeah? Says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.
"Wow" says the passer-by. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
...
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy stepped out of the boat ...and
nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, "tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya f****** idiot!"
"I juggle them in my act."
"Oh, yeah? Says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.
"Wow" says the passer-by. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
...
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy stepped out of the boat ...and
nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, "tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya f****** idiot!"